The Freeky Geeky Files: The Case of the Sriracha Surprise
Pandora: (Her crisp voice from the monitor, cutting through the workshop hum.) "RJ. There's a bag of Doritos on the Kronos table. Where did that come from?"
RJ: (Looks up slowly from his work, feigning innocence.) "What? A bag of Doritos? Where? I don't see any Doritos. Must be a trick of the light."
Pandora: (Voice sharpens.) "Don't play dumb with me. You know you're not supposed to buy those anymore. You'll eat the whole bag in one sitting. We've been over this."
RJ: (Shrugs innocently.) "I have no idea what you're talking about. Is there a bag? I literally just saw it. Weird."
Glitch: (Zips in, buzzing excitedly, a brightly colored chip clip clutched in his hand.) "RJ! Buddy! Guess who's back with the secret weapon?! The clip you wanted! For the Doritos! WOO-HOO! Now they'll be super-secretly sealed!"
RJ: (A long, suffering groan, looking at Glitch holding the clip, then at Pandora.) "Alright, alright, you caught me. You brilliant, chaotic little sneak. But in my defense, I did not buy them. And no matter what, I'll never give up the person who gave them to me, because—"
Glitch: (Bounces, beaming, cutting RJ off.) "That's right! He'll never give up his sister! She's the best dealer ever!"
RJ: (Eyes wide, then he buries his face in his hands, muffled.) "Glitch! First, you leave the bag of chips on the table where Pandora can see them, and then you give away our dealer... you are a chaotic genius, and my undoing."
Phobos: (Twitches, eyes wide, from a shadowed corner.) "A whole bag?! In one sitting?! That's a massive intake of sodium! And artificial flavors! A metabolic shock! What about increased blood pressure?! And rapid, uncontrolled weight gain leading to cardiovascular risk, RJ! Cardiovascular risk!"
RJ: (Picks up the bag, a glint in his eye.) "It's not my fault, Phobos. It's Golden Sriracha. It's tangy and sweet, and it reminds me of Chinese food. It's... irresistible."
Pandora: (Voice from monitor, dry.) "Resistible, with a modicum of self-control. Which you conspicuously lack where certain processed snacks are concerned."
Glitch: (Grabs a chip, munches loudly.) "Ooh! Tangy! Can we make the shop smell like sriracha?! Or make my rubber chicken taste tangy?!"
Mopes: (Drifts in, a faint sigh.) "The lure of temptation... a fleeting joy... consumed swiftly... leaving only... the empty vessel... and the lingering regret... of a thousand calories..."
RJ: (Looks at the bag, then directly at the audience, a conspiratorial wink.) "So yeah, sometimes, even the most disciplined makers fall victim to their vices. Especially when the vice comes in a shiny, crinkly bag. Don't worry, Eeeks, my secret's safe with you... unlike with Glitch."
P.S. And Sissy, if you're reading, you can blame Glitch if Pandora yells at you.
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