The Freeky Geeky Chronicles: The Web-Weaving Workforce
(The workshop hums quietly on a Monday, just past midnight. RJ seems lost in another distraction, admiring something on his desk.)
RJ: (Leaning back in his chair, gesturing grandly at a particularly elaborate cobweb) "See? People pay good money for decorators. Me? I've got my own. These aren't just cobwebs; they're natural decor. My resident decorators, hard at work, giving this desk a real... rustic charm."
Phobos: (Whispering frantically from the shadows, eyes wide and darting) "Decorators?! Spiders?! Oh, no! Not spiders! They bite! They crawl! They hide! What if they get on me?! We're infested! Doomed to be... itchy!"
Glitch: "WOO-HOO! Spiders! Can I give them little hard hats?! And tiny wrenches?! We can help them build giant, glittery webs! For science! And chaos!"
Mopes: (Slow, raspy drawl, drifting languidly near a particularly thick web) "Webs... a testament to nature's persistence. Dust... merely provides the foundation. A pointless battle... to clean... that which returns."
Pandora: (From the monitor, crisp Irish lilt) "RJ, your definition of 'decor' is, as ever, unique. And perhaps a bit... unhygienic. Though I will admit, they certainly add a certain... character to the general ambiance. Glitch, no, you may not equip arachnids with power tools."
RJ: "Alright, alright, everyone. Phobos, they're not going to bite you. Glitch, no hard hats. But these aren't just any spiders. These are my favorites. We've got 'Spinner,' over there in the corner. 'Webber,' who did that fantastic job by the monitor. And then there's 'Itty Bitty,' who just moved in next to the keyboard. Amazing little workers."
Phobos: "Itty Bitty?! They're all terrifying! What if Itty Bitty isn't so itty-bitty tomorrow?! What if it grows?! And plots?! A spider army! Oh, the horror!"
Glitch: "An army! WOO-HOO! Can they build a web-powered gadget?! A web-slinger! For shooting rubber chickens! That's maximum spider XP!"
Pandora: "Spider XP, Glitch? Right. RJ, while I find your naming conventions... endearing, perhaps your resident decorators should be charging rent for their services. They're clearly quite industrious. And by 'industrious,' I mean 'making more work for Mopes.'"
Mopes: "Rent... a human construct. Nature... demands only... dust. The webs... will collect... all."
RJ: "See, Pandora? Mopes gets it. They're part of the natural order here. And they're free labor! Which means more time for paying quests, right? Now, if only they could sort my resistors..."
RJ: (Looking out into the distance, a thoughtful, slightly amused expression on his face) "So, eeks, that's life in the workshop. You try to appreciate the little things – like free, eight-legged decorators – and everyone's got an opinion, from existential dread to plans for glitter-powered web-slingers. But here’s the lesson: Sometimes, the best kind of 'decor' isn't something you buy; it's the unexpected, natural chaos that brings unique character to your space. Embrace the tiny, creepy-crawly things that make your world (or your desk) uniquely yours. Because even in the mess, there’s beauty, and maybe, just maybe, a tiny bit of help with the dust."
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