The Freeky Geeky Files: The Case of the Colossal Component
Glitch: (Zips into the scene, buzzing excitedly) "RJ! RJ! Can I have a bolt?!"
RJ: (Looks up from his work, a slight sigh.) "A bolt? Why do you need a bolt, Glitch? There's plenty on the build table."
Glitch: "No, no, no! I need a bigger screw! A giant one! For my desk! I have an idea! WOO-HOO!"
RJ: (Raises an eyebrow, a flicker of exasperation.) "A bigger bolt? For your desk? Glitch, I don't have time for this tonight, I'm already behind schedule. Go ask Pandora, she knows the inventory."
Pandora: (Her crisp voice from the monitor.) "Inventory, you say? Perhaps if someone logged things properly, I wouldn't be guessing. What, specifically, do you require, Glitch? A fastener for a miniature black hole?"
Glitch: "A really big screw! Like... like a tree trunk with threads! For my new invention!!"
Pandora: (A dry sigh.) "A tree trunk with threads. Right. I believe your next course of action is to check with Mopes. Perhaps he's swept one up into the general 'miscellaneous' pile."
Glitch: (Zips to Mopes, buzzing.) "Mopes! Mopes! Did you sweep up a giant screw?!"
Mopes: (Drifts slowly into the scene, observing the request with a profound sigh.) "To sweep... an object of such magnitude... a violation of natural law. I merely arrange... the scattered... not the immovable. A bolt... of that size... cannot... be consumed... by dust."
Glitch: (Throws his tiny toy hammer down dramatically.) "Fine! If you won't give me one, I'll build a shrink ray myself! Or a grow ray! Yeah! A grow ray! MA-HA-HA-HA"
Phobos: (Darting out from a shadowed corner, wringing his gloved hands, his voice a frantic whimper, eyes wide on Glitch's chaotic movements.) "The mess! The uncontrolled variables! He's laughing! Manically! What if the unstable energy ripples through the workshop?! The chaos is escalating! It's a dimensional meltdown!"
Pandora: (Voice from monitor, pointedly.) "He's going to make a mess, RJ. A significant one. Again."
RJ: (Shrugs, back to his work.) "It's fine, Pandora. What's he gonna build? It's not like he can actually build something that works."
Mopes: (A low drone, almost imperceptible.) "The pursuit of creation... even when guided by chaos... yields ephemeral outcomes... yet, the intent... adds to the grand... entropy."
(Suddenly, a blinding flash illuminates the workshop, followed by a deafening ZAPPPP!!!! The air hums with residual energy.)
(In a flurry, RJ, Pandora's voice, and Mopes converge on Glitch's desk. Phobos's wails intensify. There, on Glitch's desk, sits a monstrously oversized screw head, glinting in the lingering purple light. It's perfectly formed.)
Pandora: (Her voice from monitor, a rare, astonished whisper.) "Well, I'll be... It actually... worked."
Mopes: (Drifts slowly around the colossal screw head, a sound of profound awe in his sigh.) "A singularity... of metal... defying scale... a beautiful... monstrosity... the ultimate... un-sweepable... object."
RJ: (Staring at the giant screw head, rubbing his eyes, then looking at Pandora.) "You know what, Pandora? I think I might be incredibly tired tonight. Like, hallucinating-giant-screw-heads tired. But also... kinda impressed. Just a little, but worse? is i like it."
Phobos: (A high-pitched, frantic wail from his shadowed corner, twitching uncontrollably.) "A-A spontaneous molecular expansion! The laws of physics are breaking! This... this anomaly! It will rupture the spatial fabric! We're all doomed! Doomed to be flattened by giant fasteners! Run! Run for your lives!"
RJ: (Looks around the chaos, then gives a weary, knowing look directly at the audience.) "You know, listening to everyone tonight... maybe they're right. Maybe sleep is important. My brain could use a defrag. Hope your own creations are slightly less... over-sized, Eeeks. And your REM cycles, perfectly undisturbed."
No comments:
Post a Comment